I'm Too Sexy For This Fat

Ramblings Before Bed After Working All Night

2010-09-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling the financial crunch lately. I've got my daughter's tuition balance to pay, a washing machine to replace, and Sammy needs a new pair of shoes . . . Seriously, my son (Sam) really does need a new pair of shoes. He was giving me sad eyes and showing me how the rubber is starting to peel away from the bottom of his Reeboks this weekend.

Anyway, so I am upping the hours I spend working. Weekends I get shift differential, so I hit it hard Friday through Sunday. There are a lot of pros to working at home, but occasionally I think I would benefit from having some other folk around. I get a little loopy sometimes, especially working at night when it feels like the rest of the world is fast asleep.

Last night, for instance, I just kept thinking about a post I made a few weeks ago concerning how many calories I can burn while typing (not enough) and then thinking about an old hillbilly song my dad used to listen to when I was a girl, "Work Your Fingers to the Bone Whaddya Get? . . . Bony Fingers, Bony Fingers."

So, I'm sitting here earnestly typing all these reports while this old Hee Haw song is running rampant in my head. And I get a mental image of me diligently working behind this computer desk, with my ass getting bigger and bigger and my fingers getting thinner and thinner. Until all that's left is a big mound of ass spilling out of my desk chair with a pair of headphones stretched across it's width and these little bitty bony fingers perched on top, just clacking away at the keyboard.

Anyway, I got so tickled I choked on my coffee. Oh, the joys of working from home!

On another note, I wanted to thank everyone for their support and encouragement when I shared some waffling about my weight loss efforts in my last two posts. Blogging is becoming such an important tool in my weight loss arsenal. Not only does it distract me from cravings and keep me from idly eating out of boredom, but it helps me put things in perspective. It also helps me feel connected to the world outside, when with the nature of my job I often feel so isolated. And then on top of that, when I get comments so full of compassion and warmth and humor for the little inanities of my life and mind that I share on here, it just gives me the warm fuzzies. So, thanks for your comments; they are so very appreciated. Okay, enough with the mushy stuff already . . . jeez.

So, although my "Mayday" week was definitely a setback, this week was MUCH better from a diet standpoint. I have eaten with my health in mind this week. However, I did not exercise because of my sprained knee. LOUSY EXCUSE! I could still have done some upper body stuff with my dumbbells and had planned on it, but didn't. So, when I got the kharmic "fattie" letter string on Blogger, I felt like a giant sloth.

This is a new week, however, and I will get in some type of exercise no matter what. I'm also going to break out some meditation books I bought years ago and reread them. I firmly believe that in order for me to maintain any significant weight loss, nutrition and exercise are just a part of it. I have to also find a way to deal with all the inner crap (doncha love my technical terminology?) that led to my food abuse to begin with (ooh--and now I'm ending a sentence with a preposition--there is just no end to my boldness today)!

**Update: Was going to post this before going to bed when my computer went to the BSOD (blue screen of death). Anyway, I have now been up all day trying to figure out what went wrong. All I did was probably make things worse. Now the computer's in the shop--the same shop we just picked my daughter's computer up from this morning! Why does everything have to happen at once? Luckily, my daughter's problem was she just needed a new "memory stick." That wasn't that expensive; I have the feeling I won't be so lucky. Not counting the fact that I will be unable to work until I get my computer back. AARGH! Anyway, my daughter's back in Louisville and I have no other computer in the house. So, I drove to my sister's to check my email and add this comment to this post (thank God for autosave!). I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors or convoluted thoughts--I don't have time to edit like I usually do. So I will be MIA for a few days. I look forward to checking up on everyone's blogs when I get back!

Okay, Now Even Blogger is Giving Me Hell . . .

2010-09-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

You know how when you leave a comment on someone's blog, and you often have to type in the little string of random letters in order for your comment to post? Well, here's the last little string of letters I was asked to type:

fattie

WTF??

I've been slacking a little lately in my commitment to my journey. Kind of meandering instead of forging ahead. I think maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, and not too subtly at that! Hmmm . . . I guess I better shape up!

And great big bear hugs to those of you who followed on my daughter's blog site, Be Who??? At BU. Your awesomeness never ceases to amaze me. She is coming home this weekend (YAY), but we have to put her laptop in the shop. She tells me that her screen would not come on this morning. So, it may be a few days before she can post again, but she will. I told her I did a little promo for her blog and she was so happy. THANKS AGAIN!!

"Too-Damn-Tasty-to-Be-a-Converted-Recipe" Recipe

2010-09-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: There's a recipe in this blog that is NOT A HEALTHY CHOICE. It is a lighter version of a standard recipe, but it is STILL NOT A HEALTHY CHOICE. Consider yourself warned!!

The Devil in Disguise?

I'm pretty sure that Paula Deen is the devil. Well, maybe not the devil, but at least a minor demon. Her recipes are heaven on your tongue but hell on your hips. And I'm pretty sure the word "decadent" was coined just to describe her mouthwatering concoctions. Loads of sugar and fat in all kinds of tempting combinations seem to be her forte. I don't care what kind of diet you're on--Paula Deen can help you blow it.

As many of you know, I transgressed over the recent three-day weekend. One of the items that led me astray was Gooey Butter Cake. Now, I generally don't have much of a sweet tooth. It is the salty, crunchy, deep fried stuff that turns me on. However, if I'm gonna go wild for a dessert, it's gonna be something rich and creamy. Let me tell ya, this Gooey Butter Cake was AWESOME!!

My sister brought a pan of its sweet deliciousness to our family get-together. She then proceeded to twist my arm, hold me down, pry my mouth open, and force feed me a small morsel (really--it happened just that way, I swear!). It was divine.

It was so rich and delish that I was hard pressed to believe her when she said it was a converted recipe. It was though, and I am very pleased to share it with ya'll! I don't know who Bobby is, but god bless him.

Bobby's Lighter Version of Paula Deen's Gooey Butter Cake

For the whole recipe: 665 Fewer Calories, 90g Less Carbohydrates, 71g Less Sugar

Ingredients:

1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
1/2 cup reduced-fat buttermilk
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon canola oil

Filling
1 (8-ounce) package reduced-fat cream cheese (Neufchatel)
3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar
1/4 cup plain low-fat (2%) Greek-style yogurt
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon melted butter

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Spray a 9 x 9-inch baking dish with nonstick spray.

Place the cake mix in a large bowl. Whisk together the buttermilk, egg, and oil in a small bowl until blended. Add the buttermilk mixture to the cake mix, stirring just until blended. Pour the mixture into the baking dish.

Beat the cream cheese until smooth. Beat in the sugar, yogurt, egg, vanilla, and butter. Spread over the cake mixture. Bake 40 – 50 minutes. You want the center to be a little gooey, so do not over bake.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For comparison's sake, here's the ingredients for the original recipe:

Paula Deen's Gooey Butter Cake

Ingredients:

Cake:
1 18 1/4-ounce package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons butter, melted

Filling:
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons butter, melted
1 16-ounce box powdered sugar

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you can see, the lighter recipe calls for only 1 teaspoon of butter versus the original recipe's 16 tablespoons! You only use two eggs instead of 3. Full-fat cream cheese is replaced by the reduced-fat variety, and you only use 3/4 cup of powdered sugar as opposed to a 16-oz bag. Buttermilk and yogurt help keep the cake moist. I'm telling you, the lighter version tastes incredible--you'll never miss all the crap that's not in it.

Here's a breakdown of the original versus the converted recipe (per serving):

Paula Deen's Version Bobby's Version

Calories: 412 279

Fat: 19.3 g 9 g

Saturated Fat: 8.3 g 4 g

Cholesterol: 82 mg 12 mg

Carbs: 57.6 g 47 g

Please note: I did not do the nutritional analysis myself but got the info off the internet. Paula Deen's version is based on 15 servings; Bobby's version is based on 16 servings.

One of these days, far in the future, I would love to try to make this recipe with a sugar alternative and see if I couldn't get that carb count down even more! I'm in far to fragile a state to be trying anything like that any time soon, however, as I'd probably eat the whole pan.

I realize that this is not diet food by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm feeling a little devilish myself having shared it on my weight-loss blog. However, holidays are just around the corner and here's a recipe that will wow your friends and family like my sister wowed me. No one will ever believe it's a revamped, lighter recipe!

Mwahahaha! I just couldn't help myself!

DISCLAIMER NUMBER 2: (Wow! Two disclaimers in one post--what's up with that?) WHAT FOLLOWS IS A SHAMELESS PLUG FOR MY DAUGHTER'S BLOG.

Hey friends! If you get a chance, check out my daughter's blog, Be Who??? At BU. She just started it about a week ago and so far has only one follower (ME!). She is a sophomore at college in the big city, living away from home in the dorm. She is struggling with her weight and trying to find herself and just generally going through all that wonderful coming-of-age stuff. She is smart and beautiful and funny and I just want her to have all the encouragement she can get so she'll keep blogging. We all know how good blogging is for the soul. Thanks!

Mayday! Mayday!

2010-09-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad, bad girl--my motivation drowned in sloth, my resolve swallowed up by a flood of carbs, and all my good intentions lost in a sea of bad choices.

When I stop blogging, posting, and weighing in, occasionally I have a good excuse. More often, however, I'm just avoiding dealing with the consequences of my actions.

What derailed me? Who knows. Actually, that's not true. I do know. I just don't want to bore anyone with the details. This time around the culprits were stress, cookouts, and "that time of the month," just some of the usual suspects.

There is a scientific law that goes something like this: All objects when left alone will revert to their natural state. Over the last 14 years, my natural state has resulted in significant weight gain. When less than vigilant, I am predisposed to fall back onto the couch with a bag of chips. I firmly believe that over time, by replacing bad habits with good ones, I can change what is "natural" for me. Right now, though, watching what I eat and exercising is still somewhat awkward. Kind of like trying to breathe with scuba gear--I can do it, but it feels weird.

So, I slipped up this week. And guess what? I can guarantee that I will lose my way again, probably many times, before I reach my goal. However, each time I veer off course, I am noticing it sooner and making the necessary adjustments. In the past, I have gotten so far off course for so long, that it was easier to abandon ship than it was to try to course correct. And despite my best intentions, I rang in each New Year a little heavier than the one before. This year, however, I am down 21 pounds for the year and am resolved to ring in 2011 with a significant weight loss (see All Losers' Challenge).

With that in mind, I braced myself to get on the scale today. And I LOST 0.2 POUNDS! How the heck did that happen? I got on and off the scale three times. I had my son weigh himself to make sure the scale wasn't out of whack. Apparently, the universe has decided to throw me a line this week. I actually feel a little guilty because, although not a big loss, any loss at all this week was undeserved.

I'm taking it gratefully though, with both hands, and climbing back aboard the Good Ship Weight Loss. Bon Voyage!

Tag--I'm It!! And My First Award!

2010-09-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hey! I got a blogger award!! My first one ever! Thanks so much to Katie at Getting My Freaking Awesome Body for the love. At least these cupcakes aren't likely to pack on the pounds! Let's see, as one of the conditions of this award, I am supposed to list ten things I like.

TEN THINGS I LIKE (in no particular order):
1. My family and friends.
2. My dog.
3. A good book.
4. Cooking.
5. Thunderstorms.
6. Karaoke.
7. Freshly laundered sheets.
8. Campfires.
9. Wild Turkey.
10. Tall men with hairy chests (especially my boyfriend).

I am also supposed to pass the award on to 10 others in a comment, so keep a look out!

Also, Patrick from Responsibility 199 tagged me with 8 questions, which I am supposed to answer and then pass on 8 of my own questions to 8 others. Here's his questions and my answers:

You can have one super power, what would it be? Invisibility.
Which do you see as more important, diet or exercise? Diet.
If we're forced to become vegetarians by law could you do so or would you frequent the black market for meat? I would miss meat. Would they let me fish?
Do you consider the word 'Obese' to be a proper word to define those extremely over-weight, or do you consider it to be improper if not a hateful word? Words are just sounds. It's the connotation we give them that give them power. Let's face it, it doesn't matter what word you use for "overweight", no one would ever consider it a good thing. If another term became PC, it would eventually take on the same negative connotation.
Do you believe that Elvis died on August 16, 1977 or was his death a conspiracy cover up? He died. I was little but I remember it was a very sad day for the whole nation.
How much water do you drink a day and do you agree that water intake of 8 glasses a day or more is critical to a healthy body? Can I plead the fifth? People get crazy if you tell them you don't necessarily agree or adhere to the water principle.
Aliens have invaded earth and landed a mile from your house, do you run for the hills, do you grab a weapon & charge, or do you try and communicate with them? I would grab weapons and THEN run for the hills with a transistor radio, some food and water (and, of course, toilet paper).
Is your current approach to getting healthy an approach you consider to be fun and can you do it for the rest of your life? Fun? Not so much, but definitely doable over the long term. The rest of my life is a long proposition, and I am a firm advocate of the 80%-20% philosophy (if I make it my goal to make good choices 80% of the time, I can be successful and stick with it).

Here's the folks I'm tagging:

1. Be Who??? At BU

2. Destined for 150

3. My Day

4. Getting My Freaking Awesome Body

5. Fit, Fat, and Back Again

6. Have You Gained Weight? (The Ups & Downs of the Unknown Dieter)

7. Happy Peach

8. Not Trying Just Doing

Here's my 8 questions for the folks I tagged above. I made a point to make these questions NOT be about weight loss. I think it's fun to learn about all the other stuff who makes you who you are, as well. If you get a chance, I look forward to reading your responses on your blog!

1. What's your favorite Dr. Suess book?

2. What's the best Halloween costume you've ever worn?

3. If you could "live" in any TV town and be friends with all the characters in the cast, which TV show would it be?

4. Do you believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

5. Which would be easier, to live without music or to live without TV?

6. Yogi Bear or Winnie the Pooh?

7. Bigger turn off, bad breath or body odor?

8. Would you rather cook for someone or have someone cook for you?

HAPPINESS--PASS IT ON!!

New (Old) Comment System

2010-08-31T12:55:00.000-07:00

QUICK UPDATE: Within a couple of days of starting my blog, I switched over to the Intense Debate comment system. It has done nothing but give me trouble ever since, so I uninstalled it today. However, I lost some comments in the process. So, if you notice your comment disappeared, that's what's up with that. Shouldn't happen anymore, though.

She's Rockin' The Beer Gut

2010-08-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

As a northerner transplanted to the south, the popularity of country music is something to which I've had to become accustomed. I am not what you would call a country music fan. I only hear country music if I'm at a bar or restaurant and it's being piped in (almost everywhere) or if one of my friends has it playing on the radio (almost all of them).

Having said this, occasionally a country song will catch my ear that I will like. And occasionally a song will catch my ear that strikes me as so hilarious that I'm in danger of spewing beer from my nose.

Anyway, over the weekend, I was fortunate enough to run across three such songs, which I thought I would share with you. Not being current with the country music scene, I have no idea how old these songs are. Many of you have probably heard them before and some of you, like me, have probably never heard anything like them in your life. Either way, I hope they bring a smile to your face!

She's Rockin' The Beer Gut: A tribute to ladies everywhere who wear low cut jeans when they really probably shouldn't. The video portrays a "contest" for the best "rockin' the beer gut" individual. And even though the song seems to be a loving tribute to chubby girls, I find it interesting that the skinny girl wins in the end (if she has a beer gut, I sure don't see it, do you?)

Next for your listening pleasure: There Ain't No Trash In My Trailer.

And last but not least: I Wanna Check You For Ticks.

Who Knew? My Sedentary Job DOES Burn a Few Calories!

2010-08-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

My procrastinating ways have caught up with me again! It is the last day of my invoicing period and I'm behind. That means I have to chain myself to my computer and type like a mad fiend ALL DAY LONG on a FREAKING SATURDAY. This does not please me.

In an effort to put a positive spin on this, I decided to try and figure out how many calories I actually burn while typing. I used various online calculators to get the answer. The results were mixed, to say the least.

Based on 8 hours of typing, these are the results I got:

336 calories FitDay Calculator
920 calories Fitness Magazine Article
1522 calories US Values Calculator
1588 calories Dr. Gily's Health Calculator

As in most things weight loss, the answer you get seems to depend on who you ask. I'm liking this Dr. Gily dude.

However many calories I burn, I just hope it's enough to at least slow down the inevitable spread of my ass from sitting in this chair all day long!

OUTRAGED: Woman Charged Extra at Nail Salon for being Overweight

2010-08-26T03:12:00.000-07:00

We are told that the world, especially the US, is becoming increasingly overweight. With most economies being market driven and the market being comprised of bigger and bigger people, you would think that business would begin to cater to heavy people, not discriminate against us.

This is not the case, though, and being penalized for being overweight seems to be a growing trend. From airplane tickets, to health insurance, to the purchase of furniture and clothing, paying a premium for being a premium size is becoming more and more common.

Although I would think that with the growing market segment of plus-sized people, appealing to larger folks would make more sense than punishing them. However, in some cases, charging obese folks more may have some merit (it takes more materials to make larger clothes and furniture, so the cost goes up, etc.).

Not so in this case. A woman in Georgia was recently charged a $5 surcharge by a NAIL SALON because she was overweight!! The salon owner's argument was that because heavy people put more stress on her chairs and her chairs cost $2,500 to replace, she is justified in charging fatter folk more money.

GET REAL, LADY!! What about bitchy people? Are you going to charge them more because they are never satisfied and will complain about your service to others? I wonder what kind of dollar sign you would put on the damage they could do! Not to mention clumsy people. What if they were to slip and fall in your establishment, potentially leaving you open for a lawsuit? I bet that'd run you more than $2,500! Where does it end?

As a matter of fact, why stop at just charging obese people extra at nail salons??

OTHER INSTANCES TO CHARGE FAT PEOPLE MORE:

1. PUBLIC TOILETS: After all, if we can break salon
chairs, imagine what our fat asses could do to a toilet seat.

2. BUFFET-STYLE RESTAURANTS: First of all, everybody knows fat folks will eat way more than thin folks. So, there is the extra cost of the food. Additionally, since the law requires a new plate be used every time you return to the buffet, and since overweight people will of course make more repeat trips than their skinny counterparts, we should be charged a premium because of the additional expense to wash those extra plates (the cost of detergent, water, extra dishwasher labor, etc.).

3. SCHOOL BUSES: Last I checked, maximum capacity on a school bus was 66. Fat kids' parents should logically have to pay a premium for their kids to ride the school bus, as you can't fit three kids on a school bus bench when some of those kids are overweight. With the epidemic of childhood obesity in this country, I can only imagine the extra cost to school systems who will have to buy more buses to accommodate the growing size of their riders.

4. PUBLIC SWIMMING POOLS: The larger you are, the more water you displace. Swimming pools will have to refill more frequently if a lot of fatties use their facilities. Need I say more?

5. HIGH-RISE APARTMENTS: Obese people should be required to pay higher rent in apartment buildings with elevators. First, the elevator has to work harder to carry a heavier load. Second, an elevator with a maximum capacity of 1500 pounds could carry approximately 10 regular-sized people at once but maybe only 6 obese people. If there are a lot of fat tenants, the elevator has to make more trips.

I could go on and on, but I won't. (If you look closely out over the horizon, you can probably see the steam rising from my ears from wherever you are.)

You can read more about this story here: Overweight Woman Charged More for Manicure.

All Losers' Challenge

2010-08-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite blogs are Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit and The Anti-Jared. Both fellows have achieved impressive weight loss and both fill different needs. You can always count on Jack for a shot of levity and Anti-Jared for a dose of reality. Anyway, Anti-Jared (AJ) challenged Jack and Jack challenged everyone else. Click here for more details: Jack Sh*t, Time To Step It Up

The challenge is simple. It is time for all of us to reexamine our commitment to our weight loss goals. We all know what we need to do to lose weight--what works for us and what doesn't. This challenge does not consist of a detailed list of do's and don'ts. Simply state what you weigh now and where you commit to being by December 31, 2010 and then do what it takes to get there. That's it. I'm in.

I know that this was just the wake-up call I needed, and I hope that many of you will join me. I have created a separate page (see All Losers' Challenge tab above) to track my progress and will also be blogging weekly about it. I invite you all to post with your results, as well. This is not a competition, however. To paraphrase AJ, any loss is a victory. Anyone who loses is a winner.

So, I currently weigh 282. I will weigh 250 by 12/31/10. I can and will make it happen. Will you join me? Please let me know your goal for New Year's Eve. I can't wait to hear!

Dating & Dieting: Flex Your Relationship Muscles

2010-08-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

We all know the PC reasons to lose weight. We want to be healthier. We want to feel better about ourselves. We want to regain control of our lives. Blah, blah, blah. These are all valid reasons to pursue weight loss, but they fail to recognize one of the biggest motivators of all: the desire to be desired. Many of us chase after a lower BMI because we want members of the opposite sex to chase after us.

I think there is a tendency as we undergo this weight-loss transformation to romanticize the whole process. We are unworthy caterpillars who wrap ourselves in cocoons, waiting to emerge on the other side as beautiful, desirable butterflies. In the interim, there's a whole lot of busy work going on in that cocoon. We are learning new ways to eat, new ways to deal with stress, and new ways to view ourselves and our futures. We are starting to put ourselves first, starting to exercise, and starting to build a new life and identity for ourselves piece by piece, lost pound by lost pound. We dream cocoon dreams of when we achieve the butterfly state. We anticipate a new more beautiful body filled with self-confidence and all the admirers and dates that will go along with it.

Often overlooked as we undergo this metamorphosis, however, is how ill-equipped many of us are to start dating once we emerge from our chrysalis. We do all the hard work to remake ourselves and emerge triumphant, spreading our wings, only to get smashed on dating's windshield.

Okay, okay. Maybe I overdid it with the butterfly analogy, but my point remains. Many folks who have undergone significant weight loss are not prepared for the dating scene and all of its often harsh realities. For those who never dated much to begin with because of their weight, all the new attention that comes with their new bodies can be overwhelming. Those who suffered with low self-esteem because of their weight may find themselves falling into their old patterns of settling for less than they deserve, without even understanding why. We seem to think that just because the weight is gone, all of this dating stuff will just magically fall into place. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Relationships are a tricky business and, just like we actively work on revamping our eating and exercising habits, we also need to work on the development of relationship skills. Discovering what it is you need from a partner is a long process, and accurately identifying those qualities in another person is another skill set all together. Not to mention learning how to love, trust, communicate, compromise, forgive, etc., etc., etc.

The tendency is to ignore the relationship aspect of our lives while we pursue our weight loss. To me, this is tantamount to preparing to be a professional athlete without ever playing the game. All the physical conditioning, self-esteem building, and goal setting in the world will not help you win the baseball game if you haven't also practiced swinging the bat and running the bases.

And practice is what I suggest. Dating can be just for fun, not for life. And for those of you who think that you are too heavy right now to find a date, well, that's just crazy talk. All you have to do is walk around your local mall or flea market and look at the many diverse couples all around you. There truly is someone for everyone. There are internet dating sites that specifically cater to big, beautiful people. Remember, you are not looking for Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now. And by that I mean someone to go out with occasionally. Someone to practice flirting with. Someone to have fun with. Someone to help you figure out what you do and do not like in a romantic partner. Someone to help you realize there are many attractive things about you that are unrelated to your body size. And you can also read books on relationships. Talk to your friends who are in successful relationships and especially talk to your friends who are in bad relationships. Learn all you can now so you will be ready later. You will already have a good idea of what you're looking for and what you're not. You will already be more at ease in dating situations, with superb flirting and conversational skills at your disposal.

This can be a tricky proposition for many of us, I know. Putting yourself out there can be a scary proposition no matter what size you are. Additionally, I am never an advocate of being with someone who is not good to you. As my momma always told me, "Being alone ain't so bad when being together ain't so great." If they do not lift you up, then move on to someone who will. All I'm saying is that in this whole process of reshaping ourselves and our lives, we shouldn't forget about matters of the heart. I think it's important to not only exercise our physical muscles, but our relationship muscles, as well.

Before I met my husband I had never been in love, though I had stepped in it a few times. ~Rita Rudner

What's New on the Fat Front

2010-07-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

The latest on all things FAT!

According to new research, the Internet can help people keep weight off. The new study, conducted over a two-and-a-half-year period, found that the more often people logged on to a [weight-loss] website, the more likely they were to maintain weight loss. . . What made the website work, the authors of the study believe, was its mixture of accountability and sociability. To read more click the following link: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2007222,00.html?xid=rss-topstories#ixzz0vDRMszBA

Drew Carey Drops 80 pounds and is no longer diabetic! The 52-year-old comedian said he's cut carbs from his diet and drinks nothing but water. He also follows a strict gym routine. Wow! Doesn't he look incredible?!

Another magic diet pill.
I'm a little skeptical.
How 'bout you?

Contrave is a fairly new weight loss pill that follows the new trend of combining medications to aid in weight loss. Contrave combines an antidepressant (Wellbutrin) with a drug used to help curb addictions (Naltrexone). Rather than working in the stomach to block appetite, Contrave reportedly works to keep the brain from sending hunger signals to your stomach. The drug is in the third stage of clinical trials and, of course, researchers are "optimistic."

This new sit-com will be hitting our televisions this fall on CBS. I think it will be refreshing to see a show with people that look more like your average American. Hopefully, this show won't be all about the fat jokes. From what I've read, it's supposed to be just a funny show about two people in the beginning of their relationship who just happen to be fat. Kinda like Roseanne used to be (God, I miss that show). Here's hoping!

THAT explains what happened last weekend!

Trying to save calories by making your daiquiris with Splenda? Using Diet Coke in your Rum and Coca Cola? Mixing your gin with tonic water? Then here's something you must know!!

New research shows that you get a buzz faster when alcoholic drinks are combined with artificial sweeteners. A lot faster!

From Reuters: The stomach had emptied half of its contents in 15.3 minutes after the diet drink and 21.1 minutes with the sugar-sweetened drink. The peak blood alcohol concentration was significantly higher with the diet drink than with the regular drink. The blood alcohol concentration was also higher with the artificial sweetener than with the sugar-sweetened drink. This doesn't just apply to pre-made drinks. You could be combining alcohol with diet coke or tonic water - such as a sugar-free Red Bull and vodka.

How To End the Love/Hate Relationship With Your Scale

2010-07-29T18:31:00.000-07:00

How to weigh yourself and get the most accurate result.

Over my long years of dieting, I have tried many approaches when it comes to using the scale. I have tried weekly weigh-ins, daily weigh-ins, and no weigh-ins at all (relying on the way my clothes fit to gauge my success). All of these methods had one thing in common; they were unreliable measures of my progress. On any isolated day, it does not matter whether the scale goes up or down, or whether your jeans zip up easily or not at all. This is just a window into your progress and really does not give you the complete picture.

I am an advocate of recording your weight daily but IF AND ONLY IF you are also keeping a record of your MOVING AVERAGE.

Weight loss and fitness expert, Steve Turano, explains it much better than I can in the short video segment below.

Weight Loss Is a Moving Average

Okay, MOVING AVERAGE, I get it. Makes sense to me. But how do I keep track of that without having to spend a lot of time and having to do a lot of icky math?

I am so pleased to share with you a website called WeightChart.com (please see the Lovely Links on my homepage to go there directly). This site is completely free and extremely user friendly. You log your weight in daily and it shows your progress on a line graph. What makes this a really valuable tool is that you can also configure it to show your MOVING AVERAGE on a separate line on the same graph as your daily weight. If you're trying to lose weight, your goal is for your day-to-day scale weight to stay below your moving average--concentrate on your moving average weight, not your scale weight!

As long as your daily weight does not go above the line representing your moving average, you are on track and making progress. A 2-pound gain on the scale may only cause your moving average to level out, with your daily weight not crossing above your moving average. Trust me, this takes away MUCH of the anxiety you feel when your scale is refusing to cooperate despite your best weight-loss efforts.

Just this one time can't hurt!

Likewise, a 2-pound weight loss probably won't cause a drastic change in your moving average, either. This keeps you from getting into that oh-so-dangerous, it-won't-hurt-this-one-time mindset. You know the one. When you tell yourself, "I showed a good loss today. It should be okay to go ahead and eat that cheeseburger just this one time."

When your daily weight does rear its head above your moving average line, it serves as a gentle reminder to get back on track or reevaluate your current weight-loss plan.

WeightChart.com also allows you to graph other variables you might be focusing on. You can track your mood, your activity level, your water intake, your sleep, almost any facet of life that can affect your weight loss. If you can assign a value to it, WeightChart will graph it for you.

I cannot recommend this method of weight tracking highly enough. It has taken the stress out of my relationship with my scale. I now see it as the inanimate object it is, as a valuable tool instead of a living, breathing, sadistic joy-stealer!

______________________________________________

CHEETOS!!

2010-07-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.
~~Samuel Levenson (1911-1980)

When I was doing my grocery shopping the other day, I kept crossing paths with a mother and her two little ones. There was a little girl of about two sitting in the front of the cart, and a little boy of about five or six trailing alongside. Now, both of these kids were adorable--no doubt about it. But what really caught my attention was what so preoccupied the little boy.

CHEETOS! He had one of those "grab bags" of Cheetos in his hands and was entirely focused on its contents. He had orange on his face, down his shirt, and all over his hands. I know I should have been thinking about how that child would be better served to be snacking on an apple or some grapes. But all I could think about was whether or not I could get away with snatching those Cheetos from him and making a mad dash for the parking lot. If I was in better physical condition and thought I might make it before collapsing, who knows? I might have gone for it.

But as it was, I just watched in awe as he devoured those Cheetos one by one. When he got to the bottom of the bag, he tipped it up to get every last crumb of cheesy deliciousness into his mouth. He noticed me watching him and gave me this huge gap-toothed grin. He was adorable all right, but at that moment it was as if my own personal devil had manifested itself right in front of me in the guise of this innocent young boy with his Cheeto breath and orange-stained fingers.

With a sigh, I turned my cart full of fresh vegetables and lean protein around and headed for the checkout counter.

It's probably fairly obvious by now, that I LOVE Cheetos. I don't have much of a sweet tooth. It is the salty, crunchy, deep fried stuff that I miss. Chips, nachos, fried chicken, etc. I won't keep that stuff in my house, but sometimes it seems like it's everywhere I go. Anyway, in an effort to laugh off my "close encounter," I wrote this really bad poem that I thought I'd share.

Ode to Cheetos

Cheetos, oh, Cheetos, I miss you so much,

The way you turn orange everything that I touch.

I miss your great taste and delightful crisp crunch.

I miss how you taste with my sandwich at lunch.

I try to replace you with celery or nuts.

'Cause I know that these foods won't go straight to my butt.

It's just not the same, Cheetos, no, not at all.

But I must stay away or my diet will stall.

When it comes to temptation, you're so hard to beat.

Please stay away, Cheetos, I don't want to cheat!

What unusual places do you encounter temptation and what's your weakness? I'd love to hear!

Hoarding the Joy

2010-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

*********************************************************

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. ~~Stanislaw J. Lec (1909-1966)

I have been successful with weight loss in the past, significant weight loss. I have been even more successful at gaining it all back plus more. I always seem to get in my own way. I can be rolling along, filled with optimism over the positive changes I am making in my life, and then BAM--before you can say "chips and dip," I've fallen right back into all my old patterns and behaviors that earned me all this extra weight in the first place. WHY DO I DO THIS??? What happens to derail my efforts time after time?

As an emotional eater, I have begun to recognize that my food intake is far too often a knee-jerk reaction to some stressor. My first thought was, "What can I do to reduce the stress in my life, and thus reduce my emotional eating?" It didn't take long to conclude that this was not a practical solution. If the past 41 years have taught me anything, it's that stress is like a visit from your in-laws--no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it's gonna happen sooner or later.

So, if I can't eliminate stress, I am obviously going to have to learn to react to it in some other way. I began to pay attention to my "stress-ometer" to try and pinpoint when I felt stress and what my initial reaction to it was. And I learned something interesting: I am way too sensitive for my own good. I care far too much about what other people think of me and how they might perceive me.

Case in point: One of the dangers of working from home is that it is very easy to become isolated (and this is only exacerbated by being overweight). I was talking to my boyfriend about this the other day, about reaching out to new friends and trying to reconnect with old ones. I told him about a conversation I had with a new online friend that lasted an hour, how good it made me feel and how much we had in common. His response was, "Yeah, but just think--that's an hour you coulda spent working out."

Now, prior to this, I was feeling really great. It was my weigh-in day and I had a 6.6-pound loss for the week, I had found an exercise routine that I was actually beginning to enjoy, and I was really starting to get a handle on what was going on inside me that led to my emotional eating. All it took was this ONE COMMENT FROM HIM AND MY MOOD PLUMMETED!! All the sudden it hit me just how ridiculous this was.

My boyfriend did not mean to hurt or discourage me for the world. It was just an offhand comment. Maybe it wasn't in the best taste, but it certainly wasn't intended to level me the way it did. All my confidence and optimism vaporized with those few words. I began to realize that this happens to me a lot. If my family or friends are struggling with something that I can't fix, my mood can come crashing down. I feel like a lousy parent or friend because I have no answers. If someone at the grocery store gets snide or snippy with me, my mood suffers, as well. Who are they to talk to me that way? Etc., etc., etc.

I came to this conclusion: I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF MY OWN JOY.

No one person should have that much power over my mood and my self-esteem, not even loved ones (and certainly not strangers). People will thoughtlessly say things that hurt my feelings. Situations will occur in which I feel powerless to help those I love. Jerks will snarl at me in restaurants, stores, and offices. The only predictable thing about these situations is that I will encounter them. I cannot control them.

What I can control is my own good mood. I am going to become a joy hoarder. I will guard my joy as zealously as a leprechaun guards his pot of gold. It is that precious and that important. I worked hard to get it, and I will no longer allow it to be stolen from me by nothing more powerful than an insensitive remark or a stressful situation.